Having Power in Conflict:
Handshake Options

Participants' comments:

"Pace is great, quick enough to stay interesting; class is fun but also very informative"

"I am learning that perceptions can hide the realities of your actions."

This course is for people in all functional areas and at all levels. It may be conducted as a one-day session with the elimination of specific exercises or as a two-day session. Generally, these sessions are designed to apply to specific areas of concern in an organization.  Discuss with Patti to determine which modules should be included in your session.

Module 1
First Impressions

• What Characteristics Do You Look for When First Meeting Someone?
• The Importance of Establishing Rapport
• Needing to Feel Safe
• He is NOT From My Tribe
• Handshakes
• Commonalities and Uniqueness
• Barriers/Protections (not saying what you're thinking, blaming or making excuses, shutting down, humor, subject change, telling someone else, ignoring or stuffing it.)  

Module 2
The Three Scenarios to Understand Perception Vs. Behavior

• Observation --how you see the employee-- e.g. thief, wanting to get off work and personal calls on company time-- is dependent on the filter of your life experiences.
• Words Mean Different Things to Different People
  *Meets expectations, good job, bad attitude
• Perception Truisms
  *Hiring a working mother
• Perception Check in
  *Pages in your workbook
• Managing Others' Perceptions of You
  *Perception of Self vs. Behavior vs. How Others Perceive You. Remember the big OLE teddy bear that was sexually harassing employees nonverbally.
• DISC Personality Test
• Having Your Needs Met (see listening)

Module 3
Nonverbal Communication

• Motivated by self, topic or situation and the other person or people you are with
• The Next Person on the Scene---Remember the boyfriend hidden behind the Wall Street Journal. Are you reading the motivation for others' body language in the right order? Or are you just the next person on the scene?
• Power is communicated through Space, Windows and Relaxation
  *Space=body, office size, eye contact and volume
  *Windows:
  1.eye=trust and aggressiveness, arms="emotions" and openness,
  2.legs=openness gender distinction, feet="aggressiveness" and self-disclosure
  3.Palms=honesty and willingness to be open and self-disclose
  *Relaxation- the rabbit and the lion
• Matching (alignment, commonality, in sync, that can cause diversity problems.)
• Hand(s) to face
• Assertive, Aggressive, Passive Aggressive

Module 4

• Johanna Window (self-disclosure, feedback)
• Listening (seek first to understand, the show you get, seek to be understood)
• Having Your Needs Met on the DISC
• Example:
  1. I know it's important to you that we get it done.
  2. It's important to me too (shows matching and commonality) .
  3. Here is what I need in order to meet your need.
  4. Here is what I need
• Paraphrasing
• Reflecting feelings
• Silence
• Questions
• Summarizing
• Nonverbal listening  (SOFTEN IT)
• Smile
• Open posture
• Forward lean
• Touch and take time
• Eye-contact
• Nod your head
• Interested and caring facial expressions
• Turn off technology and stop distractions

Modules 5 and 6
Beginning the Day Positively

• Giving Clear Effective Criticism and Praise to Motivate and Change Behavior
• HANDSHAKE Tools for Responding to Negative Criticism and Negative People
• Problem Solving for Individuals and Teams
• Conflict Mode Instrument (Dad at MacDonald's and Mom leaving the packages in the trunk)
• Encouraging From the Heart (Tools for motivating creating a more productive work force and preventing conflict)
• Cool Tool (favorite color, favorite animal available on Web site)
• Closure (taking action telling your team what you got and having a courageous conversation with someone)
• DERSC script
  *Describe
  *Express
  *Result
  *Specify
  *Consequence  

Participants' comments:

"Pace is great, quick enough to stay interesting; class is fun but also very informative"

"I am learning that perceptions can hide the realities of your actions."